Nobody Said I Couldn’t

My Dad, the handsome pilot on the right with a mustache. 

It’s Father’s Day today (congrats to all the dads out there). My own dad left this plain over 20 years ago but his indomitable spirit rages on. He knew no fear and was confident even in situations where others would say he had no business being so sure of himself. Like that time he was just out of high school and walked into a Ford dealership asking for a job on a dare. During the Depression. With no sales experience. When the manager told him to beat it, Dad told him that was a shame as the Chevy dealer down the road had offered him XX salary so he’d be on his way. Dad got the job and won the bet.

The time he was the leader of an orchestra on the radio. And he didn’t know how to read music or play an instrument.

The time he ran for office and became the Reeve of Saltfleet Township in the 1940’s. Without any prior political experience. Then ran for federal politics as a Conservative in a riding that was heavily Liberal (he lost but not by much).

The time he produced one of the largest free festivals in Canada, which ran for two decades under his watch. Despite not having done event production at the outset.

Not to say my father was fool hardy, not by a long shot. He wasn’t reckless or irresponsible. Rather, he was someone who didn’t let lack of experience hold him back . If it was something that he felt he had the capacity to take on and excel at, he would approach it with all guns blazing. Learn all he could, listen to others and distill the knowledge into making a potent elixir of results.

He wasn’t afraid of long hours or mindless tasks (how many hours did I see him bent over a table, scratching away at transfer pages, laying out an ad for the newspaper back in the 70’s before the advent Photoshop). He wasn’t afraid of living life to the fullest, loving his family with all his heart and giving a helping hand to those who needed it. And he wasn’t afraid to serve his country as a pilot in WWII.

Whenever I’d ask my father how he could take on all these challenges, his answer to me was:

“Nobody told me I couldn’t do it. “

Those words became my motto, my rallying cry and have sustained me throughout my merry-go-round of a life (music! color! excitement! plenty of ups and downs!). Having the faith in yourself to take on any challenge and to go all in is the ultimate in fear-less living.

My father never let Fear get in the way of a brilliant adventure so why should I or anyone else? Thanks, Dad, for showing me how to Fear-less and live so much more.

 

 

Busyness Isn’t Business

How’s business? 

Great! I’m busier than a one-armed juggler!

That’s nice. But are you making any money? * drops mic

And there we have it, folks,  the Fear-less Fact that being busy is not the same as being profitable.

Let’s say you have 12 clients who contract you for small jobs, paying anywhere from $100 – $400 a piece. Imagine in one month they all hire you for a $400 job each. At the end of the month, that’s $4,800. Now think about how much time you’ve spent managing each client with phone calls, meetings, emails, not even touching upon how many hours you actually spent on their projects.  Pass the Tylenol.

Now let’s imagine you have three clients paying you $2,000 as a flat retainer – that’s $6,000 a month and you have only three clients to focus on. Sure, you’ll have to provide even greater customer service at that price point but your work and satisfaction level – for both you and your client – is going to be far higher than juggling numerous clients with small projects. Pass the Moet y Chandon.

Which scenario would you rather have – busyness or a business?

Now before you start with the internal monologue of terror with the “but how can I start charging so much more money? How will I get clients? How will I survive??!!”, chillax (as my 8 year-old is saying ad nauseum these days). Others have done it and I’ve done it. Was it scary? As hell. But so glad I did it.

A number of years ago, my wedding planning company was going great gangbusters. Between our planning and travel divisions, we had 14 employees and months where we had 13 weddings. It was insanely busy for all of us and while it was profitable, we had to keep running on the hamster wheel to cover all the expenses. Then I became pregnant and realized that I couldn’t keep up the same pace once the baby came, nor did I want to. Burnout was peeking its blackened head over the not so far horizon and I wasn’t eager to become his new buddy. Something had to change.

Around that time, I hired a planner from LA. She was a firecracker and a vigorously shaken bottle of Dom all mixed together with confidence to put Muhammed Ali (RIP) to shame – to say she stirred things up would be a gross understatement. When she booked her first client, she charged double what we normally charged without blinking. And the client signed on the dotted line without balking.

What. How. Huh?

It must be some Jedi mind trick, I thought. But nope, she just had the cajones to charge what we really should have been charging for a while but were too afraid to. For years, I’d held a self-limiting belief that we couldn’t charge more than XX or else no one would hire us. I’d upped our fees a bit after a groom told me during the reception that I really needed to raise my prices (when a client is telling you to charge more, you know you’ve been lowballing yourself). But to make that jump to where we really should have been seemed too risky.

But LA Spitfire Girl saw without fear-tinged glasses that we’d undervalued our services and it was time to change things up for the better. Which we did. Overnight. Took a deep breath, prayed to anyone up there who would listen and doubled our fees. Then prayed some more.

And we continued to book clients who didn’t blink at the prices. Definitely, we had fewer clients than before but that was the idea. We’d been in business for a number of years, had garnered a great reputation and were finally (!) charging what we were worth. The clients who booked us understood the value of our services and weren’t nickel and diming over every small charge the way budget clients tend to. Result? We have more time to spend with each client, more time to be creative and more time period.

So, are you charging what you’re worth or are you undercutting yourself? If you have busyness, what do you have to change to have a business?

 

 

 

Wave Goodbye and Say Hello

Ever had a client that just doesn’t fit? No matter how much you try, it’s junior school all over again where you’re desperately trying to cram your Size 8 feet into your favorite running shoes that are a Size 7. Ouch!

You muscle through, dreading each email or phone call with them, kvetching to your other half (bless their soul for putting up with the ongoing Client X drama) and resenting their business because it’s making your life miserable. According to the Pareto Principle, they are the 20% of your client base that takes up 80% of your time, causing the other 80% of your customers to not receive quality customer service from you. See where this is going? Downhill. Fast. Like the Crazy Canucks ski team.

But a customer is a customer and must be nurtured at all costs, right?  Not only do we live in a world where the “customer is always right” but stats show that it costs 6–7 times more to acquire a new customer than retain an existing one (Bain & Company). So you grit your teeth and carry on because it’s what you do in business.

But what if you did exactly what you did with those Size 7 sneakers when they no longer fit?

Get rid of them.

Radical, I know. But in order to have healthy growth you need to trim the deadwood.

 

It’s scary to let go of a client. I did it once and it scared the crap out of me because they were our only event for the month. But I realized it was the best decision for them, myself and my company. Were they happy with me for firing them? Well, no. But I knew that if we were to continue pushing through, it wasn’t going to get any better. Customer service industries like wedding planning are highly subjective and largely relationship based – without affinity between the client and provider, it’s impossible to have a positive experience for either party. You need to be magnets (the two ends connecting, not repelling each other).

It wasn’t an easy decision but I’d been down this road a few times over the years and every time I swore like a drunken sailor on a Shanghai shore leave that I’d never suffer through a bad client relationship again. Like a blind date set up by your grandma, it never, ever ends well. No matter what you do, how hard you try or how much you go above and beyond for them, they aren’t happy with you because they are a square peg and you are a round hole. Oil and water. Kanye and Taylor. Some things just don’t go together.

What makes a client fire-able?

• lack of respect for you and/or your staff (like Aretha said, R-E-S-P-E-C-T)
• abusive behavior (ain’t nobody got time for that)
• breach of contract or not adhering to terms and conditions (they don’t want to play by the rules? Pick up your bat and your ball and go home)
• lack of integrity/illegal activity (unless you knowingly work for Tony Soprano and are OK with it)
• wanting continual discounts/insisting on old pricing (you are not the $1 Store)
• change in your business model (they’re a dial-up, you’ve gone digital = time to move on)

So how do you go about firing a client who’s not a good match?

First – with as much compassion and professionalism as you can muster from the depths of your soul. We are all humans and being rejected is painful, especially by someone paid to help you. Give an explanation as to why you’re severing the ties.

They can be for purely business reasons, personal circumstances or, the hardest one of all, the honest approach that you aren’t a good fit.

“After in-depth research, our company has decided to focus on a specific segment of our clientele that are in best alignment with our future goals. Unfortunately, with these changes, we are saddened to say that we are no longer the best fit for your business. “

“It’s been a great experience working with you but unfortunately, due to personal reasons, I am not able to assist you with XX as of XX date. I am so sorry for this inconvenience and please do know it was not a decision taken lightly but the circumstances are such that I am left with no alternative.” (if you want to elaborate on the highly personal reason, you can but not necessary). 

“Lately, it seems that our working relationship has been experiencing a number of challenges. Unfortunately, I don’t think we are the company best suited to ensure your success. “

Suggest a Plan B and Plan C – it may seem crazy to send your competition business but it makes the client feel that you are looking out for their best interests and, if we are being truly diabolical, it ties up your competitor with a time-wasting/high-maintenance customer. *strikes a Dr. Evil pose whilst laughing maniacally 

“Perhaps Company X or Company Y may be better able to assist you in reaching your goals. Both are well-respected in the industry and either would be an asset to your team. I’ve included their contact information here.”

Give a date as to when the relationship is over and what action steps you’ll be taking to wrap things up.

As of X date, my company will not longer be able to assist you on Y (whatever job you were hired for). Thank you for your understanding and please find below what actions you can expect from us to be completed by X date. 

If they have paid you any kind of a retainer or a deposit for future work that may become a sticking point, offer a full or partial refund upfront so you’ve nipped any discussion in the bud. Outline how and when you’ll be refunding them.

If they get nasty, keep it short and professional.

“Your feedback is appreciated, however, our decision is final. As mentioned earlier, here is what you can expect from us by X date.”

And, ideally, do the deed over the phone rather than by email. After all, no one likes to get dumped in a text.

Being successful in business isn’t always about more but knowing when to let go. It requires being fearless and knowing that the short term loss will result in a long-game goal.

Oh, and that client I let go? Two other clients hired us within a week for the same month. Bigger (and more profitable) events with customers who fit like a glove.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There’s Always Someone…

There’s always someone…

Richer than you

Smarter than you

Thinner than you

Faster than you

Healthier than you

With a bigger house than you

Driving a better car than  you

More “blessed” than you

There’s always someone…

Poorer than you

Less intelligent than you

Fatter than you

Slower than you

Sicker than you

With a smaller house than you

Driving a car in worse shape than you

Wishing they were as blessed as you

 

The Amazing Lightness of Being with No F*cks to Give

We’ve all been there – that heart-stopping moment when you’ve hit rock bottom, where you feel trapped and have nowhere to turn. The cold fingers of absolute panic creeping up your spine to your cerebral cortex, freezing your brain into a loop of “this can’t be happening this can’t be happening”  as we slip into a static state of denial. After the storm subsides and we’ve accepted that this is the new reality, we have reached that magical space where we have No More Fucks to Give. *cue angelic choir

It’s liberating to be at a point where you can say “screw it” and move on. It’s like a cleansing rain after a long, hot summer, rinsing away all the dust, the dirt, coaxing forth new buds and shoots. Everything looks shiny, new, rebirthed. There’s nowhere to go but up.

And that’s where the creative juices really start to flow, because you no longer have to worry about the worse – you’ve experienced it. When you’ve got nothing left to lose, your mind has the luxury of imagining everything.

One of my favorite NMFTG moments is from the best movie ever, Raiders of the Lost Ark (saw it 24 times in the theatre when it came out, still in love with it and yes, I’m 12 years old). There is a scene where Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) is chasing after the Nazis in a crowded market. The throng parts to unveil a blackclad swordsman swinging a saber with wicked delight, all ready for a showdown with our hero. Instead of engaging in a fight, Indy shoots the guy and moves on because he was busy and had NMFTG.  The scene is pure brilliance for its unexpected badd-assery.

What’s interesting is the story behind how that scene came to be. Shooting in Tunisia, most of the crew and cast had come down with dysentery, including Harrison Ford. Originally, the script had called for an epic bullwhip/saber fight but the day of shooting, Ford was so sick he said, “let’s just shoot the fucker”. With NMFTG, his creativity was cranked up to 11 and, thus, one of the greatest film scenes was born.

I had a NMFTG moment 13 years ago and it changed my company profoundly. During my first year of business, I was the full-time wedding planner for a travel agency. One day, the owner and I didn’t see eye to eye on something and boom, we parted ways.

Which I was not expecting.

Of course, I panicked. I’d just hired a full-time assistant who was depending on me for a livelihood. Without the leads from the agency, where was the business going to come from? Where was I going to get money? How was I going to survive? OMG I’m a failure, the sky is falling and the earth is going to swallow me whole!!!

Then came the calm and shortly there after, I had exactly zero fucks to give. Fine, you don’t want to work with me? I’ll  work for myself. And that’s exactly what I did. Built a website, reached out to hotels, had my weddings published in magazines and when blogs emerged, started the first wedding blog in Costa Rica. Five hundred weddings later, being set adrift was the best thing to have happened to my company because it caused me to step up to the plate and take charge. I created my business on my terms.

When things are going well, we get complacent. We keep on keeping on. Change – why? Everything is groovy. It’s not until the rug is whipped out from under us and we’re lying in a heap wonder what the hell just happened that we spring into action. Fight or flight.

So here’s my challenge to you. What is your biggest worry, the one that keeps you up in the wee dark hours. Got it? Imagine it’s just happened. For reals. Scary, isn’t it? Now imagine all your fucks are gone. What do you do? How do you move forward? What’s the new game plan? Got it? Write it down.

Now, what’s holding you back from making these changes?

Go forth like you have NMFTG and watch the magic happen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Amazing Power of NO

NO.

It’s a short, powerful word that we add to our vocabulary pretty early in life, driving parents crazy around the age of two as we repeat it ad nauseum. But as we grow older, we don’t say it as much, because we don’t want to offend or hurt someone’s feelings. If you’re a people pleaser (guilty as charged), it usually gets stuck mid-throat and rather than fight with the larynx to let it out, we end up shaking our head in the affirmative with a fake smile plastered on for good measure because we want the other person to be happy. To like us – it’s middle school all over again.

Can you work late? – Sure!

Would you like to go to the dance with me?-  Yes!

Could you give me a discount? – OK.

We’ve just screwed ourselves over by committing to something we really, really didn’t want to because we’re afraid of making the other person upset. There is no escape pod to jettison out on, no turning back, no graceful way out without upsetting the other party and looking like a jerk. So we grit our teeth and push on through, silently fuming about it as the black pit of resentment grows deep in our bowels.

Ugh. What a horrible way to live.

What’s worse is the insidiousness of acrimony, quietly gnawing away at relationships like a cancer, eroding trust and camaraderie little bit by little bit until there is an anger filling in all the empty spaces. All because of one little word that was never uttered.

Well, no more, my friends. It’s time to embrace the NO. Own it, make it yours, be unabashedly upfront for your fondness for it. NO creates velvet-roped boundaries that must be heeded. NO creates respect for your time, your knowledge, your love and your service. NO leaves a place for you in a world with an insatiable appetite to gobble all.

Now this isn’t a Get Out of Jail card to go all Joffrey from Game of Thrones since the idea is not to piss everyone off to the point they want to kill you in the most painful way possible. Rather, it’s about sharing what you are able to offer. It’s not a rejection of the other person but respecting them and yourself enough to create an honest dialogue.  Or as the Piano Man once crooned, “honesty is such a lonely word and all I really want from you.”

The thing about NO is that it can be said in many other ways that are kinder, gentler but still truthful. How do you do this?

a) use positive language so a NO sounds more like a YES

Would you like to go to the dance with me? – Thank you so much for the invitation. It’s wonderful you’d think of me. I’m so sorry but no, I’m not able to. I’m sure you’ll still have a great time even if I’m not your dance partner!

b) try to offer an alternative  solution

Can you work late? – I’d love to spend more time on this project but unfortunately, I have other commitments today so, no,  I can’t stay. Let’s see how I can help during the rest of the week. 

c) give a detailed explanation

Could you give me a discount? – I’d love to work with you on this but the price is firm so I’m not able to give you a discount. What I can do, however, is give you (XYZ) as a bonus. How does that sound?

Not so hard, right? No one walks away feeling like the other person is an ass, you don’t feel like you’ve given away the farm for a one-way ticket to Sucky Town and everyone feels  they’ve negotiated for their best interests. Win/win.

Don’t fear the NO. Take it and wrap it lovingly within a velvet glove to be gently offered, as one would to a gentleman upon alighting from a carriage (maybe I’ve watched Pride and Prejudice once too many times).

Be fear-less but gentle for NO is a powerful ally. Make it yours.

How I Learned Fear-Less Selling By Driving a 4 x 4

Many moons ago, I sold cars for a living. Old cars, new cars, red cars, blue cars – I sold them all. A lot of them. But the first day I walked into that Suzuki dealership to start my short but illustrious career in auto sales, I knew nothing about cars, other than put the key in the ignition, turn it and pray it goes. Fact is, I’m a bit of a Luddite so overhead cams, fuel-injection and 16 valves could have been part of heart surgery for all I knew. Yet somehow I got lucky and sold my first car that day.

Very lucky.

Right after I closed the sale and the moment of elation faded, I realized that if I was going to make any money in this business, I was going to have to put my big girl pants on and figure out what the hell I was doing.

So I decided to get to know the vehicles. Intimately (no, not that way). When things were slow on the floor, I’d head into the shop to chat with the mechanics, asking questions about the engines, how things worked, just what the heck WAS a double-overhead cam and why did it matter. I learned and then brought that knowledge about our cars to my customers. And it worked. Within a couple of months, I was the top seller and got lucky again when the Nissan dealership wooed me to work for them.

Very lucky.

Because Nissan was a fabulous company, with excellent vehicles (and much better profit margins). But most importantly, they believed in educating their sales teams on not only about their own vehicles, but about their competitors’ offerings as well. Pure genius.

So once a month, we’d attend a full-day workshop with other Nissan dealers where the morning was spent going over all the specs of each vehicle – where ours dominated and didn’t. Jeep, Toyota, Ford – we picked each one apart from tip to tailpipe, the good, the bad, the stuff they’d rather not talk about.

But after lunch is when the real learning took place, when we got behind the wheel of each vehicle and test drove them in succession and into submission. We spared no mercy, especially when we were comparing the Nissan Pathfinder against the Jeep Cherokee, the Toyota Forerunner and the Ford Explorer. They let us loose on a farmer’s field with hills and mud (which probably seemed like a good idea on paper) to see just what kind of abuse each 4X4 could withstand (quite a bit, apparently).

Once back at the dealership, I’d share all this fantabulous, first-hand experience with my customers. I approached each client with a fearlessness, because I  was confident in my knowledge, my experience, my ability to discuss how superior my product was in meeting the client’s needs.

“I know you’re not just looking at the Pathfinder,” I’d say, ” because you’re an informed consumer, so when you head over to the Toyota dealer, notice how the Forerunner is basically the body of their pickup truck made into a passenger vehicle. Feel how rough the ride is compared to the Pathfinder, which has been engineered specifically as a 4 x 4.” Etc. etc. etc.

Customers were shocked. Here, instead of the typical “sleazy” sales pitch, was a thoughtful, informative discussion about the various product options.  I was viewed by my clients as an expert, not someone trying to turn a quick buck. They trusted my opinion, they trusted my knowledge, they trusted me. So they bought. Then they recommended me to their friends, and they bought.  And then they recommended me to their friends, and so on and so on and so on.

I learned the secret to fearlessly selling that day in the 4X4 – know your product, and your competitors’, inside-out.  Nobody likes to be sold to but everybody wants an expert to show them what is best to help them.

Be the expert. Don’t sell…show. 

 

In a World of White Bread, Be a Baguette

Think of how many messages you’re bombarded with daily. Gazillions (and that’s no exaggeration). Out of all these words and images vying for your precious attention (and it is precious), what do you remember? The ones that are out of the ordinary or the ones that pack no punch?

Too often in business we’re taught to communicate in a certain way, in an innocuous way, to not rock the boat or in any way possibly cause some kind of offense – which is impossible because someone, somewhere, is going to be offended by some perceived slight (brace yourself as winter is coming and so is the ‘Happy Holidays’ hysteria). So we are left with a bland message that is crafted to in no way upset anyone, ever. Corporate communication has become the white bread of the business world.

What exactly does white bread do? Does anyone over the age of five dig into a slice of white bread on its own for a satisfying snack? White bread is just there, to hold the interesting and delicious fillings of the sandwich so they don’t muck up your hands, to be the backdrop to PB&J, to play a background role to other more enticing elements.

Now think about a baguette. It’s exotic, it’s crusty , it’s airy, it’s delicious and it’s sexy as hell (and not just because it’s a giant, hot Phallic symbol you can bite into).  The baguette is the antithesis of sliced white bread, the Superman to its Clark Kent. Ravishing a baguette in Paris is the stuff of dreams – chomping into a slice of Wonder Bread in Spartanburg not so much. At a buffet, no one is going to pass up a baguette for a piece of bread, not even the five-year old as they are just. that. enticing.

We’re constantly marketing ourselves to attract clients yet too often, we fall into the trap of being like everyone else. You’re not like everyone else so stop trying to be. Use your own voice to find your audience, your peeps, your tribe. Will you upset some one? Probably. But there’s people who are disgusted by redheads (seriously ) so don’t lose sleep over it. Hater’s gonna hate.

In a world of white bread, be a baguette.

If Everyone Is Your Customer, Then No One is Your Customer

I realize this sounds counter-intuitive (OK, crazy) but really, if you try to make  EVERYONE your customer, then NO ONE is your customer. No, this isn’t some kind of Schrödinger’s cat conundrum, it’s a  business fact. Really and truly.

As business owners, we’re constantly hustling to keep a steady flow of clients coming our way. The more clients, the busier we are, the more money we make. Sell as much as possible and sit back and watch the bank account grow, right?

Wrong.

Here’s why. Human beings are crazily,wonderfully complex and what works for one person doesn’t work for the next. We are all high-matinenance special snowflakes and want to be acknowledged and marketed to as such. How do you make a sale? By connecting with the people who want/need whatever fantabulous goods or service you’re offering. CONNECTING. I put it in bold because that, my friends, is the key to success, all shiny and gold and able to unlock the magical city of profits.

OK, so that’s all fine and dandy, you think, but how do I connect with my customers? I don’t have an advertising budget like Coca-Cola and I’m no Kardashian with five gazillion followers on Twittergrambook  (is their 15 minutes up yet, Andy? Please?).

Fear not, as this is actually a lot easier to figure out than assembling a SNÄDDYMKE bed from Ikea and not nearly as frustrating.

Let’s say you own a Lexus dealership (lucky you!). Someone strolls into the showroom and is interested in an LX 570.  Being a smart consumer, they’re probably looking at other vehicles as well. Would one of these be a Hyundai Tucson? Probably not. The Tucson is a fine automobile but it’s not one with a 5.7L V-8 383hp engine and an 8-speed automatic transmission with overdrive starting at almost $90,000.

Think about who your LX buyer is – age, income bracket, where they live, what work and hobbies they have, what restaurants they frequent, what radio stations they listen to, where do they get their news from, what brand of Scotch they drink, how much Scotch they drink…what motivates them and engages them.

Now think about the Tucson driver and go through the same exercise. Got it? Good. Is there much cross-over in the various categories? Probably not. They’re most likely as different as Madonna and Marie Osmond. What will appeal to the Madonna’s of the world will probably send the Marie’s into a shrieking tizzy and vice versa. And that’s fine because there is a specific market for every product or service.

The key to success is knowing who your peeps are, where to find them and how to engage them.

When you try to be all things to all people, the message gets lost because it doesn’t connect with your target market. This may come across as harsh but brace yourself – not everyone needs or wants you. Shocking, I know but you’ll live.  You’re not water so don’t try to sell yourself as such (and if you own a water company, kudos to you because everyone does, in fact, need what you’re selling).

Not that this will come as a surprise to anyone (unless you’re Amish like in that Harrison Ford movie, in which case my question would be, why or how are you reading this?),  but people have really small attention spans. Minuscule, gnat-like…cookies! (see what I mean).  According to research by Media Dynamics, adults are now exposed to about 360 ads per day across all five media (TV, radio, Internet, newspapers and magazines). Out of all these, less than half are noted at all and far less make enough of an impression to be remembered.

This is where CONNECTION comes into play. Remember that client profile you worked up on the LX customer? Now create an ad for them. Make them visualize being in the driver’s seat of the LX,  hearing the engine purring with the ferocity of eight lions, inhaling the delicious new-car smell, caressing the baby’s-bottom smooth leather seats, delighting in the luxuriousness of the sleek walnut trim of the interior, feeling they’ve “arrived” by  driving one of the world’s most luxurious and exclusive vehicles. You’re not selling a car – you’re selling the aura of power and prestige the LX bestows upon its owner. And its owner is not everyone but the very, very few and privileged.

In order to successfully cut through all the marketing hubris and hit your target client over the head with Thor’s hammer, your message has to be on point to emotionally engage them. That Lexus advertisement wouldn’t resonate with the Tucson customer because it’s a product they aren’t in the market for but, it would pull the LX buyer in like Carrie Bradshaw to a Manolo Blahnik blow-out at Sak’s.

If your product is the Lexus, don’t try to sell the Tucson. Know thy market and thou shalt prosper.

 

 

Have Brain – Will Cower

It’s amazing how much our brains, filled with whatever silly fears we decide to fill them up with, can alter our reality. And I don’t state this in some Nag Champa-induced fog, listening to my chakras realign. I saw it in action today with crystal clarity. And it blew me away.

My daughter, Luba,  takes riding lessons and loves to jump – which, to be honest, does kinda scare the crap out of me sometimes because she’s only 8-years old and damn, those horses are big (working on my fear but a mom’s protective nature is hard to circumvent). She is training for a competition this weekend, the first time she is to compete jumping 60 centimeters. Which is a big step for a slip of a thing who still sleeps with a teddy bear and believes wholeheartedly in the Tooth Fairy.

Her coach had told her she’d be riding Shakira (not the hip-shakin’ Columbian singer), which is a horse Luba has had some trouble with. Shakira is just s head-strong as her fellow Latina namesake and it takes some work to bring her to heel. Although Luba hasn’t had any real problems with her, she is nonetheless fixated on how difficult it is going to be for her to compete on Shakira.

Today, she thought she was riding Shakira and her class was, frankly, a mess. She missed most of her jumps, was fighting to keep control of the horse and was at times, getting panicky and messy. Smartly, her coach decided to put her in the lower category of cross-bars rather than risk a tumble or an elimination in the 60 cm tourney. She was devastated with the downgrade but we all agreed it was for the best. There would be other shows, other tourneys and other opportunities when she was more confident.

At the end of class, we discovered she wasn’t riding the dreaded Shakira but Pavo, one of her favorite horses. A horse she has won competitions riding. A horse she never has any problems with.

And that’s when the realization hit me.

My girl had worked herself into such a tizzy thinking she was riding the horse she dreaded, she caused the horse she adores to feel her fear and act accordingly. She had created her own fear-based reality.

Whoa.

Had she gone into class knowing she was on Pavo, I’m positive it would have been a completely different experience. But by letting her mind trick her into believing she was on a difficult horse, she had exactly that experience because the mind is just that powerful.

So Luba and I had a long chat about not letting our mind freak us out into believing something that’s not really happening (which was probably the same kind of convo one would have with Timothy Leary, but I digress). Being the astute child she is (yay for good genes), she got it.

Fast forward to the competition…she rode Shakira to a flawless performance.  And the week after to jumps of 60cm AND 70cm with an aplomb that belied her young years.

Because she changed her head game. Because she changed her fear of Shakira to the unique kind of love a rider can have with a horse who proves to be true and steadfast.

In order to fear-less, we need to ride Pavo in our minds, even if  the beast below is really a Shakira.

Ride on.